Video: Nick's solo

Here's Nick doing a solo with his worship band at church.

Video: Nick singing

Here's Nick playing a bit of his song "You Don't Know Me," impromptu, in the kitchen!

Uncle Dan, Aunt Jan, Nick & Andrew

Top photo: Uncle Dan, Aunt Jan, and Nick (right) and Andrew (left). Bottom photo: Nick and Andrew, rocking out. (They're both fabulous musicians!)

Video: Nick & Andrew playing "Dream On" by Aerosmith

Elaine's visit

Elaine came to visit Salma and I for about a week, and we had a great time! We went up to Kansas City to see grandma, Uncle Dan & Aunt Jan and cousins Nick and Andrew (who are 17 and 15 years old--last time I saw them, they were 5 and 3!), and Uncle Mike & Aunt Belinda. It was a good time! We especially enjoyed getting to know Nick and Andrew, who are both incredibly gifted musicians and just great guys!

Jasra and Audrey with their gifts

Here's Jasra and Audrey on Eid day, with their gifts that my mom and dad sent them! They were absolutely thrilled with their gifts!

Wesley's visit

My brother Wesley has come to visit for about 13 days, and we're having a wonderful time so far! He got here just in time for the big Corbani Eid festival, so the next morning he saw people slaughtering cows and goats in the road right outside our apartment. We celebrated Eid with Azfar's family, and had a great time. I've already taken him to the food bazar and the clothing bazar, and we've checked out the artisan crafts at Aarong. So far, we're having a great time with Wesley!

Our Fifth Wedding Anniversary!

Today is our fifth wedding anniversary! In the photo I'm wearing the sari that Amma gave me for our anniversary gift. I can't believe our fifth anniversary is already here...looking back, the past five years seem have gone by so fast. We have gone through so much together--graduate school, moving across the country, then moving across the world, and of course, our little girl Salma has changed our lives forever. Last night we celebrated our anniversary with our friends, colleagues, and students. We had a really fun party with food, music, and laughter. It was a wonderful time--it brought back warm memories of the get-togethers we used to have with our friends back in Pullman. It's nice to be surrounded with people who we really care about. And of course, the most beautiful gift I have been given is the journey through life that I share with my best friend, my husband.

Fun at the Water Park

We took a trip to Nandan Water Park in Dhaka this weekend, with Urmi, Audry, Jasra, Dilara, and Azfar's cousin Shammi and his wife Nuresha. We had a blast! The water park has 3 water slides, children's slides and play areas, a "rain" dance floor, and a wave pool. Salma didn't want to leave. She kept saying "aro goshol!", which means "more bath!"

Shammi's Wedding, Part 4: The Reception

So the day after the wedding, everybody gets dressed up one more time for the reception. This is the ceremony where everybody pulls out their gold and gets all decked out in the fanciest jewelry they've got. Shumi let me borrow some of her gold jewelry so I could be properly decked out. There's not much ritual ceremony connected to the reception--mainly everybody eats a bunch of food, and takes a bunch of pictures with the bride and groom. And...that's it--the whole wedding ceremony!

Shammis Wedding, Part 3: Coming Home

As I said in the last post, coming home to the groom's house on the wedding night has its own set of ceremonies. The groom's mom traditionally doesn't actually go to the marriage ceremony, because she's supposed to be home preparing the house for her new daughter-in-law. We all also got there before Shammi and Nuresha, and helped get things ready. When they arrived, Shammi's mom was at the front door to greet them with some sweets and cold drinks (see the bottom photo). Then we turned up the music to dance and celebrate--Azfar's brother and sisters, cousins, and I (and Salma and Jasra, of course). But the bride is supposed to be very demure and reserved, so she sat on the couch watching us dance. That didn't last long, as we felt bad for her. She looked really tired and it didn't seem much fun for her to sit there watching us. So we moved on to the next part of the ceremony, which is letting the bride and the groom enter their room, which has been specially decorated (see the top photo). Usually some of the sisters or sister-in-laws of the groom block the entrance to the room and demand a bribe before they will let the bride and groom pass. Azfar's sister-in-law Urmi pulled me over to participate in this, so we stood on one side of a red ribbon tied across their bedroom door, and Urmi and Shumi (Shammi's sister) were teasing Shammi and Nuresha, bargaining with them over how much it was worth to them to be able to get into the room. After a bit of haggling, a sheepishly smiling Nuresha slipped some money into Shumi's hand, and Shumi cut the red ribbon and we let them pass. And that was the end of the marriage day ceremony! But wait, there's more to come! The next day we had the reception. Stay tuned...

Shammi's Wedding, Part 2: The Actual Wedding Ceremony

So on the marriage day the ceremony was held at the community center in Rajshahi, which is set up for weddings. When we arrived for the wedding with Shammi, the first part of the ceremony took place before we could even get inside. The sisters of the bride blocked the entrance to the front door and Shammi had to go through a ritualistic bargaining over how much he would pay to the bride's family so that he could marry her. After some haggling and teasing back and forth, both parties felt satisfied with the "price," and we were allowed to enter the hall. Inside there were two separate small rooms on either side of the main entrance. In one room the groom sits, and in the other room the bride sits. (The bottom two photos are of Shammi & Nuresha in their separate rooms.) As guests are arriving, they can visit Shammi in his room and Nuresha in her room, but as I mentioned before, the bride and groom don't get to see each other until after they are officially married. So everybody eats a big feast, and then the marriage certificate is signed by the bride and groom separately, and only then (about 2 hours after the ceremony began) do they get to sit together. When they sit together, they're not supposed to directly look at each other, though. (I guess it's a sign of modesty.) So someone actually holds a mirror up so they can see each other through the reflection of the mirror rather than looking each other directly in the face. Then at the end of the ceremony, the bride is supposed to burst into tears over the fact that she is leaving her parents' home. On cue, Nuresha burst into tears and her mom and all her sisters did too. So, with everybody sobbing, they led Shammi and Nuresha out to their car, which was covered in flowers. Then they drove off together, to go to Shammi's mother's house. (There's a whole ceremony connected to the homecoming, too...I'll describe that in the next post.)

Shammi's Wedding, Part 1: Holud Ceremonies

Here are photos from Shammi's and Nuresha's wedding in Rajshahi (a large town in northern Bangladesh). Shammi is Azfar's cousin. Shammi has been living in New York, but he came back to Bangladesh to get married. It was an arranged marriage--Azfar's sister choose Shammi's bride for him. I had been very skeptical of arranged marriages before coming to Bangladesh, but now my attitude has changed a bit after meeting a number of happily married people whose marriages have been arranged. Anyway, Shammi and Nuresha seem very happy together.
So, back to the marriage ceremony...the whole ceremony is quite elaborate, and lasts a total of four days. The first day, the groom's family (except for the groom) all go to the bride's house for a "holud" (turmeric) ceremony. (The bride and groom don't get to see each other during the whole marriage ceremony, until AFTER they've actually said their vows and signed the marriage document. I guess this is to make sure there is no "hanky panky," so to speak, before they are officially married!) Anyway, for the holud ceremony, the bride sits on a platform decorated with flowers (see the top photo), and the groom's family brings her gifts, and feeds her lots of food (see the second photo). Everybody takes a turn hand-feeding her a piece or two of sweets, fruit, and other foods, and then they smear a bit of holud (turmeric) on her forehead and face. The turmeric is supposed to be good for the skin, and make it shiny and pretty for the wedding. So we all went over to Nuresha's house for the holud ceremony, while Shammi waited at home anxiously. We filled him in about how gorgeous she looked, of course, as soon as we got home. Then the next day was Shammi's holud ceremony, so it was Nuresha's family's turn to come to our family's house and bring food and gifts for Shammi, and it was Nuresha's turn to sit at home, anxiously waiting to hear how things went. In the next post, I'll describe the marriage ceremony itself.

Beef: It's What's for Dinner

This photo is from January, but I just got it developed...here's Audry with our cow that become dinner the next day. Sacrificing a cow is part of the ritual of the Eid that is celebrated on New Year's day (called Eid Corbani). I chickened out on seeing the cow slaughtering--I'm not so crazy about all the bloodshed, but I do have to admit that it was very yummy beef curry that we had the next day.

Just the three of us!

Here's our little family, out having dinner. Ain't we cute? We took dad out to a burger shop that had a kid's play area, so this is about the only moment Salma was still the whole evening. The rest of the time she spent running around with the other kids and playing in the balls. Azfar broke the rules and got in the play area with her! (See the top photo.)

My Two Ammas (Moms)

Here are my two beautiful ammas together!

My Two Abbas (Dads)

Here's a shot of my two abbas together! Look at those dashing fellows. Quite a pair, aren't they?

Shammi's Fiance Nouresha

I just got back from a five-day trip to Rajshahi. One of the most exciting parts of the trip was that I got to meet Shammi's fiance Nouresha. They're getting married in about a month--around the beginning of March! She's very sweet. I can't wait to go to their wedding to see my first Bengali marriage ceremony!

Pintu & Rumi

I thought I'd introduce some more of the family. Here is Azfar's sister Rumi and her husband Pintu. I've already introduced Rumi in an earlier post. Pintu works in the sales department of a coffee/tea company here in Dhaka. Just last week I went to meet Pintu's mother in a village outside of Rajshahi. His mother was very sweet! It was also quite interesting going to the village. Of course everybody in the village was curious to meet this "Bideshi beau" (Non-Bengali wife). We had a whole crowd around the van, peering in to see Salma and I! They were impressed with my Bangla, broken as it is.

Dilara & Rashida

This is Dilara (left) and Rashida (right), two young girls who are working for Azfar's parents as domestic helpers. Dilara is an orphan, and the family has taken her in. Rashida is from a village in Rajshahi, the northern district of Bangladesh. Her mother has sent her to Dhaka to earn some money to help support the family. They are both very sweet girls, and I'm really fond of them. In Bangladesh, many people in society have domestic helpers, not just the rich. And in Azfar's family Dilara and Rashida are treated as part of the family.