Poem Publication

My poem is being published in the journal In Our Own Words, put out by the Women's Center at Grand Valley State University!


A Song of Love, A Song of War

I was telling you a story about love
how even in war it goes on speaking its own language
—Adrienne Rich

Most days, I cannot bear to turn on the news
the stories of violence, of destruction
are different now, after her birth—
sending shock waves through my womb.
So instead I hold my baby in my arms,
sleeping now against my breast,
content, full with milk,
her fingers curled around mine.
There is no communication more perfect than this.

Our breath rises and falls together in the twilight,
the silence only broken by a lone blue jay who sings
outside the window, his own song of love or of regret.

I hum a song, touch the fuzz of her hair,
and wonder: how we will speak out of the
silences that clutch us—
how to begin
in the frightful day
with words that can be tangible
and nourishing as
bread and soup, the common cup?
“How to do what we need for our living,”* everyday?

How to name the fear that
tightens its long tail around the torso
of ignorance, indifference, indolence
in this country?
If we do not name it, it will crush us.

How to make paths that do not destroy us,
to believe in the simple miracles of humanity, of peace,
to press our hands firmly against the earth
to believe that answers move there,
waiting to be reborn?

How to explain that they will not come through the ways we have known,
treacherous paths taken by the men who say they lead us
through wars on terror, Wall Street bailouts, homeland security,
while most of us are left spinning in our own fear and isolation?
Will shopping really save us?

How to find ways to be alive in the twenty-first century
when we know there are reasons for the fears
but not the ones they tell us?
Not the Iraqis, the Afghanis, the Palestinians,
not the immigrants, the blacks, the gays, the poor.

And there are answers
that we won’t hear from the news anchors.
Swirling in the womb of the earth below us,
they have nothing to do with fear,
and nothing to do with war.


*From Audre Lorde’s speech given when she was named State Poet of New York.

Dissertation D-Day approaching!

I defend my dissertation in three weeks and three days! I can't wait to be done with my PhD!

Norplant

Interesting factoid: So in my dissertation I'm writing about USAID's "family planning" program in Bangladesh, with Norplant, which is a form of birth control that is inserted into the arm. The company that produced Norplant finally went bankrupt due to an international lawsuit because of the amount of deaths and severe si...de effects (such as blindness) that Norplant had on women, and even some women in Bangladesh got some money (after they had already gone blind or suffered other severe side effects). Interestingly enough, though, at the Ontario Science Centre that
I visited in Toronto, they had a huge display on birth control, and guess which form of birth control they were advertising as the "most effective"? Norplant. My jaw just about hit the floor. They haven't updated their display since 1996. I sent them an email informing them that they might want to update their records a tad bit...it'll be interesting to see if they respond...

Our Anniversary

We had some professional photos taken for our seventh anniversary--I thought they turned out really nice!

My first book is out!

Here's the cover of my first book, Poetics, Politics, and Praxis: Rereading Audre Lorde and Julia de Burgos. This was originally my master's thesis. It was published by a German press, and is available on Amazon.com here.

Welcome warm weather!

Ok, I have come to realize that Oklahoma weather is absolutely CRAZY. We went through weeks when it was 35 degrees one day, followed by 80 degrees the next day, followed by a hail storm the following day, and 60 mph winds the day after. I spent several months trying to figure out what season we're in!

Then all of a sudden, this week: BAM. Welcome summer. The swimming pool at our apartment complex is open. The weather is a balmy 80-90 degrees, and I'm wishing my air conditioning in my van worked better. What the #@@$%%?? Not that I'm complaining. We've spent the last two afternoons basking in the sunshine at the swimming pool, and I've already got a mild sunburn. Suddenly it's very nice to be living in Oklahoma!

Azfar's childhood photos

Azfar has only a few photos from his childhood--here they are! The baby he's pulling behind him on the bicycle is Rosy. And check out the young philosopher in the top photo!